


breathing room

by DarknessChill



Series: touch-starved [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Gen, julie finds him first, reggie has a sad day, the boys are only sometimes solid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26730940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarknessChill/pseuds/DarknessChill
Summary: When Reggie needs to breathe, he goes to the beach. The sound of the waves reminds him of childhood – of a time before the windows stayed sealed shut in a vain attempt to keep the neighbors from hearing the screaming matches, of a time before most of his mother’s words to him were complaints about his father. The other guys know to find him there when he disappears – he’s not trying to hide when he’s at the beach.When Reggie needs to be alone, he goes to his grave.Reggie has one of those days where he's sad and can't explain why.
Relationships: Julie Molina & Reggie
Series: touch-starved [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935412
Comments: 54
Kudos: 778





	breathing room

When Reggie needs to breathe, he goes to the beach. The sound of the waves reminds him of childhood – of a time before the windows stayed sealed shut in a vain attempt to keep the neighbors from hearing the screaming matches, of a time before most of his mother’s words to him were complaints about his father. The other guys know to find him there when he disappears – he’s not trying to hide when he’s at the beach.

When Reggie needs to be alone, he goes to his grave.

It’s morbid, and he knows it is, but somehow the still slab of stone with his name engraved on it reminds him that, at some point, it was 1995, and at some point, he’d been a dumbass who’d eaten a hot dog that had literally killed him.

It reminds him that someone other than the two people that died with him cared enough to bury him, even though it didn’t always feel that way.

He knows his parents loved him, but sometimes it felt like they hated each other _more_ than they loved him, and it _hurt_ to come home excited about something new that the band had come up with, or something fun that had happened at school, and to go to tell his mom and instead listen to her cry or vent about his father. He always tried to help, to be there for her, but it was a _lot_ for a seventeen-year-old to deal with.

And then he’d died, and he has no idea what happened after that.

He knows he was buried, and he’s guessing his parents were involved in that. There are flowers planted in front of the grave, and they’re fresh and well taken care of, so he assumes someone must be coming to visit every so often.

Other than that, he has nothing. He’s tried to search online, but a search of his parents’ names came back with nothing, and a search of his own name brought back the Sunset Curve article that Julie had found the first night they’d appeared and a site called Find a Grave.

And that’s how he’d ended up here the first time, staring at this slab of stone and just trying to breathe.

*

A knock on her door pulls Julie out of the science chapter she’s reading and she rubs her eyes a bit as she calls out, “Yeah?”

Alex pokes his head through, “Hey, is Reggie in here?”

Julie blinks, shaking her head. “No, I haven’t seen him.” When Alex’s face falls a bit at that, she continues, “You can’t find Reggie?”

“Usually when he disappears he’s at the beach or hanging with your dad but Luke and I haven’t seen him and we checked all the usual spots – no sign of him,” Alex answers. “I mean, he’s entitled to disappear if he wants to, it’s just…”

Julie shuts her textbook, glancing over at her laptop and frowning briefly before she grabs a sweatshirt, tugs it on, and heads towards the door. “You guys keep looking, I’ll see if Dad or Carlos have any ideas.”

“Thanks, Julie,” Alex says. “I hope we’re overreacting.”

“Me too,” Julie smiles, opening her door once Alex has backed through it, and waiting until he’s disappeared before calling out, “Dad, can you give me a ride?”

*

After what simultaneously feels like five minutes and five hours of quiet staring, Reggie hears footsteps and stiffens – he knows no one can see him, but this part of the graveyard has been abandoned every time he’s been here... he swallows and looks up as someone settles down onto the bench next to him, close to his side, and finds Julie giving him a sad smile.

“Hey,” he breathes, looking away from her. “How did you…”

“You left the site open on my computer a few weeks ago,” Julie supplies. “When Alex told me he and Luke couldn’t find you today, I had a feeling you were here.”

Reggie shivers a bit, even though he knows the chill he’s feeling is in his head – he’s _dead_ , he can’t get cold anymore. He starts to reach over, to try and take Julie’s hand or _something_ but if he’s not solid right now… He’s not sure he can handle phasing through her. Swallowing, he drops his hands back into his lap, clenching them tightly instead. “Did you tell them?”

Julie shakes her head. “No, they’re still looking. I said I’d help. If you’re okay with it, I can text Carlos to tell them that I found you, but I won’t tell them where.”

Reggie hesitates, but nods – he doesn’t want them worrying – and Julie quirks a small smile, quickly sending the message and stuffing her phone back in her pocket. He sees her pause slightly out of the corner of his eye, before she shifts to try and press her shoulder against his - and exhales a relieved sigh when it works, immediately shifting closer and wrapping her arms around him tightly, pulling him in close.

He sags a little into her, burying his head in her hair as she rubs his back comfortingly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offers, not letting go.

"No," he mumbles, muffled by her shoulder.

Julie just squeezes him again. "Okay."

*

Reggie isn't sure how long they stay there, Julie's arms wrapped around him, but when her arms suddenly slip through him, it feels all too soon. He shudders involuntarily, and she curses under her breath, shifting her hands into her lap and offering him a small, reassuring smile.

He takes a shaky breath. "Thanks, Julie."

"Yeah, of course," she assures him. "We can stay as long as you need."

He swallows. "We're miles away from the house, how did you..." he trails off.

"Dad drove me," Julie answers. "He's in the car, he'll wait as long as you need."

Reggie shifts to stand up, but Julie cuts off his movements with a hand in front of him, even though it won't stop him. "Reggie. He'll wait as long as you need."

He sinks back down onto the bench, sighing and nodding, eyes finding his grave again.

"I don't even know why I came out here," Reggie admits. "I just needed some space, and then..."

Julie nods, shifting closer even though they can't touch. "You don't need to explain it to me."

"I wish I could explain it to _myself_ though," Reggie sighs, running his hands through his hair and tugging on it. “It wasn’t even… I didn’t…”

“Hey,” Julie says, shifting down so she’s crouched in front of him, where he can’t avoid looking at her. “It’s okay to not be okay all the time.”

When Reggie doesn’t answer, Julie speaks up again. “You don’t always have to put on a brave face or be the happy one, Reggie – if you’re upset, if you need some room, or you just need quiet, you do what you need to, okay?”

Reggie finally looks up, nodding and managing a small smile in her direction, which she eagerly returns, sitting back down on the bench next to him to offer silent company until he’s ready to go home.

And, to Reggie’s surprise, it only takes a few more minutes of silence, of staring at the patch of grass and the flowers and the gravestone, before he stands up, suddenly ready to be _anywhere_ but there.

“Think your dad will mind driving a ghost back?” he asks Julie. “I don’t really feel like teleporting right now.”

Julie smiles over at him. “Of course not, Dad loves your company,” she assures him. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Reggie nods. “Let’s get out of here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was harder to write than I expected, and was not what I thought the next oneshot in this series would be! I have a few more in progress as well, most of which are happier than this one is. (Most.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Lullabies Lost to the Wind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27173095) by [heartsick_stranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsick_stranger/pseuds/heartsick_stranger)




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